Start of Time
by autumncaves
Summary: (A multi-chapter songfic that takes place 3 years after the end of Adventure 02) Kari is struggling with finding a sense of purpose without the digital world and her friends. A part of her is even allowing the darkness to take over her once again, although TK would never let that happen... Which scares her the most.


**A/N hiiii so basically, this is my first song fic (so I really hope it isn't dreadful) but I'm going to make it a bit different. I know most are usually one chapter, but I decided this one will be multiple. More of an actual story. **

**I really do hope you enjoy it!**

**It's inspired by the song "Start of Time" by Gabrielle Aplin**

**Disclaimer: I definitely don't own Digimon. Sigh **

_** "Oh today I'm just a drop of water**_  
_** And I'm running down a mountainside**_  
_** Come tomorrow I'll be in the ocean**_  
_** I'll be rising with the morning tide"**_

Kari's POV

I awoke in the heat of a familiar sigh.

Monday morning once again, and finally, it was beginning to wear on me.  
Not that I had a problem with Mondays in particular, but it was the start of a new semester. New classes, new people, and just a jagged flow of unnecessary proportions.  
Also, I was beginning to see that drop of sadness once again…  
There had been no digital world troubles/adventures for about 3 years now. I was happy about the absence of troubles, but I was beginning to really miss those adventures again.  
… and the people.

Ugh. I should be happy. I'm living a normal life after all, and I really didn't have any serious problems in comparison to other 16 year olds.  
But there was just something hovering over me that I couldn't shake.

"Kari, you're going to be late for school." I heard Tai call from the Kitchen. He was staying with me for the week while mom and dad were away for a second honeymoon. I personally, thought that was quite silly.  
I could definitely be fine on my own for a week. After all, I was 16, and more responsible than Tai ever was at my age.  
But he has this weird thought in his mind that leaving me alone for a week would leave to flings with boys and raging parties.

Yes… because I'm really _that_ kind of girl.

Not that I have a problem with girls like that, it's just not _me_.

I've never been one to like hectic parties, and there wasn't any boy that-  
…well...  
It didn't matter.

The point was, I was missing my childhood.  
And getting treated like a child, wasn't helping.

"Kari?" Gatomon peeped her head up from her slumber to say.  
I looked over at her after putting a pink bow in my long brown hair.  
"Yeah?"  
"It'll all be alright, really. Maybe one of the others will be in your class this time around!" She tried to encourage me as she gave herself a stretch.  
I smiled over at her and gave a nod before grabbing my bag, and heading out.  
"The others"

She meant a digidestined.

Somehow, I don't think that alone could bring us back.

"Yolei called." Tai remarked as I came into the kitchen to head out the apartment.  
I couldn't help that little light of… hope… to creep up in me then.  
"She did? What for?" I tried to respond without an overbearing amount of excitement.  
Maybe she wanted to hang out or something… that would be great. She has a job that keeps her busy when Ken isn't, and at school she usually sits with her friends in her grade at lunch, so like the others, we didn't talk much anymore anymore.

"She wanted to know if she could borrow that lace pink dress of yours." He answered me, paying more attention to the breakfast he was preparing for himself, than me.  
His answer was not one I was up to hearing on this cycle of a monday morning.

So, I used the partially slammed door behind me as an answer of "I'm not dealing with this right now."

Slamming a door as a response was so unlike me...

I never used to be like this.

I hoped it was maybe it was a teenager thing.

I sat in the new classroom in a desk right by the window, which was where I would be finding my gaze today.  
I was in no mood to listen to a useless day of adjustment.  
I was in no mood for the same old same old.  
I was in absolutely no mood to see myself as irrelevant once again.

I clenched my fists after that thought.

But truthfully, without the digital adventures with the others, I couldn't seem to find a place of belonging. Which led me to think… what's the point of any of this if I'm just drifting by with no purpose.  
Which led me to _believe_… the digital world was my purpose, and I'm not sure if I have another.

_Stop it Kari. Don't get into your head._

I'm trying. I really am.

I kept my view out the window, pretending I was focused on some lovely form of nature, even though it was more of a darkened sense of self worth.  
God I was becoming everything I didn't want to be.  
Slowly, I could feel it creeping up again.  
... light can only push away the dark on its own for so long, you know.

It needs…

I interrupted my own thought to notice the tear beginning to make it's way down my cheek.  
But before I could do anything about it, I was interrupted once again... but this time...

by the need.

"Please don't." The voice said cautiously.  
I looked over at the boy, already making the decision that the desk next to mine was going to be his.  
His head was down when he became seated.  
He was giving me a moment to wipe the tears away, or maybe he was just simply… giving me a moment.

"Please don't what?" I asked dryly, even though I knew the answer.  
I hated that he knew I was back in that place.  
I hated it because once again it proved how undeniably well he knew me.  
And I didn't hate that.  
Hell, I loved it.  
I almost _lived_ for it.

He sighed before finally locking his bright blue eyes with my crimson ones.  
It had been awhile since that happened, but it felt like only yesterday that it was a constant.  
I sighed in response to his, because I knew he didn't want to deal with my game of wall building. He had known me too long for that.

"Someone could have been sitting there already, you know." I released dry words once again. I wondered if he knew that it killed me to talk to him like that.  
"I'm pretty sure there's a law somewhere that states that if TK Takaishi and Kari Kamiya share the same class, they must be seated next to one another." He joked, trying to cheer me up in at least the slightest.  
TK always had this way of doing that, even when I didn't want him to.

"Laws are made to be broken." I shrugged out, looking down.

I could feel his sad eyes on me.

"First of all, the saying is 'rules are made to be broken'. And second, this is not the Kari I knew. What is happening to you?" He asked with a great deal of concern.

I still kept contact away from him.

"Maybe if you still talked to me-"  
"Don't you dare." He interrupted me strongly. I could feel the hurt in his voice now, stronger than before.

And that, that is what brought the silence.

Truthfully, I didn't know what was coming over me.

I just felt incredibly lost.

And I didn't even have a genuine reason to be.  
Which was the scariest part about it.

After a couple minutes of silence between us, and words from the teacher, TK felt like he needed to voice a whisper. One that would wake me up a bit.

"_You_ decided to ignore _me_, Kari. It wasn't the other way around and don't pretend like it was. But I'm not going to allow you to do that anymore, okay? Because you're my best friend whether you like it or not, and I'm here to stay."

He concluded my locking his hand with mine, under the desks.

And with that, he knew.

He knew he had me back.

And I knew… I had just dragged him back into the chaos that is me, once again.  
And knowing that… just made it worse.

When the bell rang, I tried my best to head out of class with little to no conversation with TK. It was a half day and I really just wanted to head home and enjoy a day to myself.

But of course, he wouldn't allow it.  
And a part of me, was so happy about that.

"Kari wait up." He said, grabbing my hand before I could go any further.  
I turned back to the blonde boy and waited for him to give me a reason as to why.  
"Can I walk you home? He asked me, I could see a slight blush creep through his face.

It was starting again.

Not the sadness… not the darkness… but this thing with TK that's been hovering over us since the day we met.  
We had this… connection.  
Maybe it was hope and light.  
Or maybe it was just us.  
I liked to think both.

But either way, it was starting.

And I won't deny the fact that I have the biggest possible crush on the boy you could ever imagine. And I also won't deny the fact that it may not even be a crush at all, it may even be love.  
But I wasn't going to stand by and let him bear the consequences that come from being too close to me.  
Because I knew, he would do anything to save me. Even if it meant him getting hurt. And I made it my own duty to never let that happen.

But, at the same time, I couldn't keep closing him out.  
And there was always that possibility that having him back, could keep away the darkness inside of me for a longer period of time.  
So… with that thought…

"Yes. I'd like that." I answered with a smile.

The walk started out a bit silent. In reality, TK and I hadn't had a genuine conversation in about 6 months. We would wave if we saw each other between classes or around school, but for the most part, he knew I didn't "want" to talk to him.  
But I did, I just wasn't sure how.

"Look… I'm just gonna come out and ask, okay? Why did you ignore _me_? I mean… I understand that all of us have sorta fallen out of touch but why did _we_ have to do that as well?" He asked me uneasily.  
I took a deep breath before deciding on revealing some of the truth.  
"I just thought you'd be better off without me, just like the others." I answered.

"Kari Kamiya stop shutting me out when all I want and all I've ever wanted was to be let in." His voice shot out at me. He was angry now, which made me feel terrible.  
I turned over to look him in the eyes and I watched him make his way closer, and closer to me, so that he was directly in front of me.  
My heart was racing so incredibly fast.  
"I'm not going to ask you to reveal everything to me, but I am going to ask you to let your guard down and let me back into your life. I'll forget about how you ignored me and it'd be cool if you could too… let's just go back to how we were when we were 13 and saving both worlds, okay? Because I miss that, I miss you, and I miss us." He poured out to me.  
Our eyes remained set on one anothers for awhile until finally, I pulled him into a hug.

It was strong, I'd never felt him hold me that tightly before, but I'm sure I was doing the same to him. Almost all of me never wanted to let go.

"Me too." I whispered to him.


End file.
